The Bride (2026)
She's alive! Alive! .... All that's missing is a catchy refrain
In another universe, one better than ours, The Bride is currently nominated for Best Picture. Jessie Buckley is nominated twice in the Best Actress category and is all but certain to win, but not for playing Anne Hathaway. She will win for playing Mary Shelley’s most underrated character and also for playing Mary Shelley.
In this same universe, Christian Bale is nominated for best actor, Annette Benning for best supporting actress, and at least two of the songs from the musical this was supposed to be (and should have been) are nominated too, one of which is sure to win1
In our universe, the Bride is a bomb. That’s not an aesthetic opinion, it’s an economic verdict being trumpeted by many media sources, but mostly Variety.
When I logged into my email account today, there was a Variety link right next to my inbox titled “5 reasons Why the Bride bombed”2
The article is pretty much clickbait, the only real information provided is how little the movie grossed compared to its budget. I am not sure this counts as information, but it’s also mentioned that Cinemascore audiences gave the film a C+ rating.
If you don’t know what Cinemascore is, you are truly blessed, it’s a market research company that polls movie audiences on opening weekends and aggregates the opinions into high school grades. It’s ideal for those who wish to know the popularity of a film without knowing anything other the title.
I enjoyed The Bride, mainly because of three extraordinary performances. Christian Bale doing what might be the most sympathetic take an iconic character. Annette Benning providing what might be the very best take on the ‘mad scientist’. And finally Jessie Buckley, thoroughly convincing and unrecognizable as the titular spouse to be.
And how was the movie these actors inhabit?
The Plot: It’s 1935 in New York City. Dr. Cornelia Euphronious (Anette Benning) is a scientist forced to publish her work under a male pseudonym.
One day, she is contacted by a heavily disfigured man named Frank (Christian Bale) who seeks her medical assistance. Frank claims to be the Monster, Dr. Frankenstein created in 1816.
Naturally, Cornelia doubts Frank’s sanity, but a physical exam suggests he might be telling the truth. Frank’s body is a surgical amalgam of other bodies. He should not be alive, but he is.
Having spent more than a century in hiding, Frank suffers from unbearable loneliness. He wants Cornelia to reanimate a bride for him.
She agrees to try, but warns Frank that she cannot guarantee his bride will love him.
The chosen cadaver is named Ida (Jessie Buckley). Ida was a young socialite murdered for publicly insulting a mobster.
When the electrical switch is thrown, the cadaver revives. Just like Frank, she walks and talks even though the bloodwork says she shouldn’t.
The Bride has two personalities. One is an aggressive older British woman claiming to be Mary Shelley, the other is a young American who can’t remember her name, where she lived, who she knew or any details other than her life was wrongly ended and then somehow restarted.
Neither personality is willing to be a lab animal. They both hate Dr. Cornelia pretty much immediately. They have no interest in being Frank’s bride either, at least, not until he helps them escape.
Both women take very well to the art deco splendour of post prohibition NYC. Mary Shelley can finally speak her mind, airing an entire century of pent up anger and repressed thought to packed salons. The American has the urge to dance, party and live large, because she loves life and because she wants to flaunt survival to whoever killed her.
Soon, the man who ordered Ida’s murder (Zlatko Burić) is eager to finish the job. There are also two detectives in pursuit (Peter Sarsgaard and Penelope Cruz), it seems like Ida may have been on the wrong side of the law.
So the Bride decides to run, but not to hide. Everywhere she goes, she raises hell and Frank assists, gradually winning her affection as they both become the undead Bonnie & Clyde
There are rumors that the Bride was originally supposed to be a musical and it’s really too bad that it isn’t, because the movie has the energy and eccentricity to be the next ‘Phantom of the Paradise’.
The screenplay, particularly in the second half, becomes less and less linear and very dream like and this might alienate those who were hoping for a concrete story.
Look, I love concrete. I ingest as many narrative films as I can3, but when a movie has performances this good, and an idea this great, I can enjoy it even if the rest fails to meet the standards of Aristotle’s Poetics or Cinemascore.
If you feel the same way, make time to see The Bride. And know that in that other universe I mentioned earlier, The Bride wins Best Picture and One Battle After Another is the movie quietly released in March, opposite a Pixar film.
Unless ‘Soda Pop’ from KPop Demon Hunters is nominated in that universe, in which case it could go either way.
I’m not going to provide a link, but if you google that title, you’ll easily find the article.
Sometimes more!
I saw it Saturday and it was such a fun ride! Jessie Buckley was nothing short of electric, Christian Bale was outstanding, and Maggie Gyllenhal’s vision was unflinching and compelling as HELL. The naysayers can go fuck themselves… respectfully. 😂
In the court of public opinion, Variety is the grand jester. No longer a publication of tastemakers, but IP hounds and profit-hunters. They don't work for the cinema lovers but the investment bankers and big-money suits. Keep spreading the word on the films making waves on their merit, not their ability to run up the box-office till or entice the monotonous algorithms. I can't wait to see this film, I'm really looking forward to it.